Top local band Freshlyground have added a cheeky spin to the music video of their latest single, Chicken to Change, as they challenge Zimbabwean president Robert Mugabe’s leadership.

Click here to view the video

The video, done in collaboration with the satirical Internet show ZA News, is the second to be made from the seven-member band’s album Radio Africa.

In the song, lead singer Zolani Mahola sings about what a noble “supernova” Mugabe was, but then says that somewhere along the way, he fell.

“An iridescent example of honour for the coming generation/ You promised always to open the doors for us/ Indeed it is you and only you who sleeps with the key/ You are chicken to change!” she sings.

The video, first flighted on M-Net on Wednesday night, is directed by ZA News executive producer Thierry Cassuto.

It was filmed in high-definition in Cape Town, with the band dressed in Zimbabwean-style 1980s fashion.

It also features a “chicken dance” and Mahola singing in a shebeen with award-winning cartoonist Zapiro’s satirical puppets of President Jacob Zuma, former president Thabo Mbeki and DA leader Helen Zille.

The cartoonist also introduces a latex puppet of Mugabe.

“I’ve been doing cartoons of Mugabe for years,” said Zapiro. “Working with Freshlyground gave us the opportunity to finally add him to our cast of latex characters.”

Freshlyground, whose seven members hail from South Africa, Zimbabwe and Mozambique, said they “do not fear Mugabe’s reaction”.

Band spokesman Sarah Barnett said they “believe in freedom of speech and that people should be able to talk about topics that affect many civilians”.

“The video is not an attack on Mugabe at all. It is a tongue-in-cheek challenge for him to reflect on things and become the hero he used to be, to consider his actions and surprise us,” she said.

• Surveys show that between 6% and 24% only would vote for Zanu PF in an election: the problem is, hardly anyone is on the voters’ roll. If you sign on as a Zanu PF member, your name automatically goes on the voters roll: if not you really have to struggle.

• The majority of under-30 year olds don’t have ID cards because they don’t have birth certificates. The reason for no birth certificates is cited as a lack of foreign currency for the special paper over the last 10 years or so (this was while Gideon Gono was importing tons of special paper for printing Zimbabwean banknotes).

• Nigerians based in South Africa are using Zimbabwe fast moving consumer goods to launder money. You steal, you buy groceries for cash, you send them to Zimbabwe and the proceeds from the sale of those goods are clean as Surf.

• And uniformed ZIMRA officers are visiting people who legitimately import goods from South Africa and offering to ‘help clear your goods’ for cheaper, naturally

• HIFA (Harare International Festival of the Arts) is over and the capital is coming back to reality. One of the last shows was ‘Yours Abundantly – from Zimbabwe’, the story of a well-intentioned, well heeled Englishwoman who had agreed to pay young Israel’s school fees on her one visit to the country. This led to her supporting five children and the headmaster and his wife, whose stories are heartrending and their death toll terrible. A real reminder that life in Zimbabwe is not all chilled wine and smoked salmon canapés.

• Chipo Chung’s play ‘Black Jesus’ was eagerly awaited and reported to be something that would land her and the cast in prison.  But when the tickets were issued the play was titled ‘You Can’t Escape Our Love’ which resulted in a smaller than expected audience. The title was prophetic: what we saw was a future where Black Gabriel, a youth militia behind bars and waiting execution was being interviewed by a keen young (white female) lawyer from the Truth, Justice and Reconciliation Commission. A patronising minister tries to distract her and, when this doesn’t work, prison guards threaten her with rape. The evening ended with audience discussion which felt the play should be seen more widely, that it should examine black/white relations and definitely we need a TJ&R commission.

• The censor was reported to be none other than Chipo’s Mum, Fay, former minister of education and now a supporter of Simba Makoni.

• Word is spreading like wildfire that more diamonds have been discovered about three meters away from the main Mutare-Harare road, near the turn off to Chiadzwa. The discovery was made by a motorist pausing to relieve himself, and there is now a big police presence on the spot.

• Apparently the gold rush in Mushandike (Masvingo province) is attracting the attention of the local Zanu-PF bigshots, who are now getting the villagers to dig for them under armed guard in what approximates slave labour.

• We hear that a commercial farmer was visited by ZIMRA officials in uniform with identificaton who told him about a forthcoming customs auction in Harare and showed him the catalogue. He gave them $12,000 to buy goods on the sale – but never saw them again. Pity he didn’t take their ID numbers.

• Saviour Kasukuwere, already wealthy beyond belief through his state-sponsored fuel importing company Comoil, is rumoured to have presidential ambitions. Following Mugabe’s example, Kasukuwere hopes to build his own network of patronage for the future, using the Indigenisation laws to dish out the last of the nation’s wealth – the operating mines and industries.

• Gossip has it that for his recent visit to Zimbabwe, the ANC Youth League’s Julius Malema was promised a bag of Marange diamonds to sing Zanu-PF praises and ignore the MDC leadership altogether.

• Tsk, tsk. Apparently Robert Mugabe is able to discipline an entire nation but not the children in his own household. Mugabe has recently been embarrassed by DisGrace’s son, who was expelled from St George’s College for being ‘disruptive’. The miscreant pupil then managed to get accepted (probably under duress) at St John’s, another posh independent school – where rumour has it he is continuing to be disruptive. However Grace’s ‘lovely boy’ had a birthday party recently, and all of his new classmates were invited. To make sure they came to the party, each one was given US$100 for attending! So he’s just like his famous daddy: if you can’t get friends – buy ‘em.

• Harare business sources say the Mnangagwa and Mujuru camps are enraged by the unilateral implementation of the 51% Indigenisation Bill which is largely being driven by Minister Kasukuwere and a few of his cronies. The old ones are under no illusions about the impending massive fallout over a statutory instrument which, according to the banks, has driven every investor out of the country as well as virtually crashing the stock exchange.

• In business circles they are also muttering that the reason the President thinks company owners should be happy with 49% equity is because his nibs is accustomed to getting a traditional 20% cut of any deal made by members of his party. Mugabe made it publicly clear that in his august opinion, “… 49% is a hell of a lot”!

• Another tattle is that the Chiadzwa looters who are excavating, not mining the diamonds, number just 5 or 6 of the top Zanu-PF chefs. These mafiosi are now getting a bit worried that “dog eats dog” so they are letting a few sparklies go the party’s way to keep the queue of disgruntled wanna-be looters quiet. The latter are tired of waiting  their turn to get their grasping hands on more free money. No wonder the civil service, who actually work for their pay, are saying, “Oy! What about us?”

Rumour and street-news is a favourite national pastime in Zimbabwe and we think it deserves it’s own space. Because there is no smoke without fire!

Readers, too are invited to contribute their own scandalous or shocking news in the Comments section hereunder. Tell us what you’ve been hearing recently! You can keep it anonymous.

10 March 2010

• Jawet Kazangarare, a Zanu-PF Councillor on the Urungwe District council was positively identified for his involvement in 91 assaults, 5 murders and 6 rapes. He is still the Councillor and continues to try to intimidate people. We hope the ngozis are giving him sleepless nights.

• ZNA Colonel Beta has become well known for his being involved and directing the violent operations against defenceless civilians in 2008/9.

• At the recent violent disruption of a constitution outreach meeting being (legally) held by MDC in Epworth just outside Harare, the press reports failed to mention that Zanu-PF senior Politburo member Amos Midzi, his wife, son and daughter (each driving their own trucks) ferried the ZPF youths to the scene and were present while the beatings took place.

• Obert Mpofu (Zanu-PF Minister of Mine-looting) recently went to Victoria Falls and purchased 25 properties there in just 3 days. Paid for with the proceeds of Chiadzwa diamonds, one wonders!

11 March 2010

• Remember the rumour that an SA-registered helicopter airlifts the Marange diamonds? Not quite correct. Eyewitnesses say it’s a Zimbabwe Airforce chopper and it flies off from Chiadzwa airfield in the direction of Mocambique every day…

• Grace Mugabe is hoping that her husband wins another 5-year term as president, because apparently she has ambitions for her eldest son, who will be just about old enough in 2015 to take over, like Kabila Jnr. did in the DRC….

Such an unhappy-looking couple!
Whatever it is that the First Shopper is wearing, could it possibly be her attempt at making us believe that she sews and crochets to make a living? Sure looks like she made it herself!

But it’s the message that is the most important. All about personal gratification, which is pretty much what we would expect from the couple who has led the looting, violence and ruination of a once productive and peaceful country.

May next year’s card be a big change.

This week ZBC TV and Radio get the perjury prize for a change. Their whole week has been dedicated to shouting about how Minister Biti is ‘witholding funds’ for agricultural inputs. This, accompanied by threats that ‘we cannot tolerate this any longer’ have the ordinary folk wondering if Zanu-PF are actually trying to stir up the anger of the masses in order to create a volatile situation they can then exploit. (see Dirty Tricks Manual, page 1)

In addition, this week proved once again that Mugabe and his band are thoroughly versed in the evil art of propaganda. As the infamous Nazi media boss Joseph Goebbels said, “If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it.”

The other theme this week was spouted by the state-owned Herald, which in typical insane fashion, blamed the sanctions for the deadly cholera epidemic. Huh? And Taffy Maho-so-so, in his weekly drivel in the Sunday Mail, merely copied and pasted – yes, word-for-word – a third of his article from the previous week. (He gets paid for word count, obviously). Plus like Goebbels he knows his job is to repeat, repeat, and repeat the same lame fibs all the time. Below we give you a few of the lies in all their unabashed glory, and the scoop on what’s really going on.

The Lie
ZBC: Finance Minister Tendai Biti is sabotaging the season’s agricultural inputs, by withholding funds, so that whites can go back to their farms.

The Reality
Minister Biti has released all the available funding for seed and other farm inputs, and encouraged the NGOs to distribute as much as they can. What the minister is holding back on, is using that big IMF loan that Zanu-PF is dying to get their hands on. Biti has repeatedly warned that Zimbabwe is in extreme debt already (six thousand million US$) and we should not take on more. And ZBC’s deeply flawed logic – withhold inputs so that whites can return – is just so twisted as to be pure Zanu-PF.

The Lie
The Herald: …people ululate at that nonsense forgetting that because of these illegal and cruel economic sanctions relatives succumbed to cholera last year.

The Reality
Let’s get this straight: you’re saying travel and shopping sanctions, targeted at a tiny group of Zanu-PF elite, caused a cholera epidemic? Or that the embargo on weapons did it? That’s just plain absurd, and a waste of ink. The sanctions are neither illegal nor cruel, unless of course you think that not buying new shoes in Paris is a terrible deprivation.

The Lie
Mahoso: The people of Zimbabwe made a tragic mistake…by voting indifferently and indecisively in March 2008

The Reality
What is this drivel, Daffy? There was nothing indifferent or indecisive about their vote. They decisively voted for Tsvangirai and for change. Period.

The Lie
Zanu-PF youths: The Kariba draft is the country’s current constitution.

The Reality
The Lancaster House constitution (amended many times to suit Zanu-PF) is the current constitution. The Kariba draft is being put to the people before it is adopted as the official constitution of Zimbabwe. But Zanu-PF youths are lying to people in Chiadzwa, making them believe that the Kariba draft is final and already the current constitution. They’ve also allegedly been forcing people to meetings where they demand them to adopt the Kariba draft as the constitution. It also shows that they don’t know what the word ‘draft’ means.

The Lie
The Herald: MDC-T’s new demands are aimed at collapsing the inclusive Government.

The Reality
It’s just the opposite. The MDC’s demands are aimed at making the government more inclusive, as up until now Zanu’s still been calling the shots.

The Lie
Mahoso: [The MDC] relegates the popular masses to the role of spectators who must be impressed through propaganda, deception, media stunts and lies.

The Reality
Stick the label where it fits, Taffy. That’s a perfect description of Zanu-PF’s  strategy of trying to fool all the people all the time.

The vote for champion liars of the week was unanimous: the various state witnesses brought by AG Tomana before the High Court in the Roy Bennett treason trial. The lies and inconsistencies got to be so much that it elicited laughter from the courtroom, confirming the entire thing is just one big farce. Moving on, Moyo was back on form in the Zimbabwe Independent after a hiatus, and what can we say, we missed his crazy ramblings! Tafataona “Taffy” Mahoso got stuck in another wild, exhausting rant in the Sunday Mail, and went so far as to say pirate radio stations and sanctions are akin to direct military invasion. Come again? And the state media, well, read below to witness their signature inanity. We, as always, set the record straight.

The Lie
Bennett Trial: Chief superintendent Jame Makone said superintendent Arnold Zorodzai Dhliwayo had recorded all the weapons found at Peter Hitschmann’s house.

The Reality
Dhliwayo himself admitted on the stand that he only took an inventory of about half the weapons, as anything that might explode was left in the hands of military experts, evidence that the ‘firearms’ could have been tampered with. Observers say Dhliwayo was constantly caught off guard and had obviously been coached to lie on behalf of Tomana’s office. Well, he learnt from the best is all we can say!

The Lie
Police officer Michael Joseph Nyakatawa: Hitschmann was never tortured and “freely gave his information to the State.”

The Reality
The entire case is one big joke, and this only adds to it! Hitschmann says investigators tortured him till he lost consciousness, forcing him to make a confession implicating Bennett. Sounds exactly like something the Zanu-PF would do.

The Lie
Jonathan Moyo: “…an emerging and orchestrated MDC T propaganda ploy whose treacherous purpose is to brand by definition as “racist” anyone who criticises former Rhodie whites who, like Bennett, hold key and very influential positions in the MDC T.”

The Reality
Ever heard the saying “flogging a dead horse”? It’s not okay to consistently accuse others of racism when you exhibit it in the same sentence (Rhodie whites?!). Come on Moyo, show some self-awareness!

The Lie
Moyo: …to expect Bennett to serve as a government minister in Zimbabwe today is as unacceptable as having somebody like the notorious apartheid killer Eugene de Kock serving as a government minister in President Jacob Zuma’s ANC cabinet.

The Reality
This is a stretch, even for you J.M. Next time you feel like comparing apples with oranges, do it on your own time. It’s practically libelous too – are you are implying that Roy Bennett is an apartheid killer? Watch yourself, or you might find Beatrice Mtetwa after you!

The Lie
The Sunday Mail on the Marange diamond fields: A vicious anti-Zimbabwe campaign was launched in the powerful capitals of the West, with the sole objective of condemning Zimbabwe’s precious stones as “blood diamonds”.

The Reality
It wasn’t an anti-Zimbabwe campaign, it was an anti-violence campaign, the primary objective being to end the horrific human rights abuses taking place at Marange at the hands of the country’s military.

The Lie
Mahoso: Illegal broadcasts are the most obvious and blatant violations of Press freedom anywhere in the world.

The Reality
Ha, that’s rich coming from the ‘Media Hangman’ himself! Taffy is the former chairman of the Media and Information Commission (MIC), an offshoot of the controversial Access to Information and Protection of Privacy Act (AIPPA), which tightly controls and restricts all forms of media in the country. Isn’t government censorship and control the most obvious and blatant violation of press freedom anywhere in the world? There would be no need for illegal broadcasts if the government actually allowed the press to say what they want.

The Lie
The Herald: The biggest threat to the survival of the GNU is the sanctions, pirate radio stations and the parallel government set up by the Prime Minister.

The Reality
Don’t they get bored spouting the same drivel week after week? Everybody knows biggest threat to the GNU is Zanu-PF’s refusal to fully implement the GPA. Period.

The Lie
Former Information minister Sikhanyiso Ndlovu: Zimbabwean journalists should abandon stories on corruption and start showing patriotism by bashing western imposed sanctions on President Mugabe and his cronies.

The Reality
Since when is it patriotic to stand up for a dictator and his pocketful of greedy minions, when they do nothing of any good or value for your country? What is patriotic is to write about their weaselly ways, to try to effect change for the good of the Zimbabwean people.

The Lie
The Herald: Of course, it is clear that when the MDC-T talks of “meaningful change” they mean smuggling individuals into Government through the back door.

The Reality
If anyone’s been smuggling individuals through the back door, it’s Zanu-PF. What would you call the illegal appointments of Jonathan Tomana and Gideon Gono?

Well what do you know: Tafataona Mahoso is our lying champion for the second week in a row! We want to say good on you, but we’re not sure it’s something to be proud of. His rant in the latest Sunday Mail confirmed that he truly is off his rocker. His theme this week: sanctions (surprise, surprise). Taffy may be our champion of the week in terms of quantity of lies, but Mugabe gets first prize for the whopper he told at the United Nations Food Summit in Italy. It’s all here below, and as always, we tell you what’s really going on.

The Lie
Zimbabwe Herald: There is this unequivocal support from Western sponsored media that churn out anti-Zanu-PF propaganda and hate speech unabated on a daily basis.

The Reality
There is this unequivocal support from the Herald and other state-owned media outlets to churn out anti-West propaganda and hate speech unabated on a daily basis. Zanu-PF would find that the ‘Western” media, (which values fair comment unlike the Herald) would praise them too, if they actually did ANYTHING right! Good governance is all it takes.

The Lie
Mugabe on Zimbabwe as a safe investment destination: “I know the British are saying to you [Italy] beware of that man… They are saying your companies will not last because they will be nationalised. What they are not telling the world is that they have over 400 companies that are still operating in Zimbabwe and we have not nationalised them.”

The Reality
Well not YET, that is. Mugabe did not tell the WHOLE truth, which is that Zanu-PF is trying to push through legislation that will force all foreign companies to hand over 51% of their shares to black Zimbabweans. (We wonder if that will include Chinese-owned companies?) Under the Zanu-PF led legislation, every company that has a value above US$500 000 will be forced to give majority ownership to Zimbabweans within 60 days of the publication of the new empowerment regulations. If they fail to do so, the government will block new investment, mergers or restructuring. Now is that a smart move, Bob?

The Lie
In Rome, Mugabe blamed the meltdown of Zimbabwe’s economy on “hostile interventions” by “neocolonialist enemies” that have imposed sanctions on ‘his’ regime.

The Reality
The economic meltdown came after the destruction of the country’s commercial agriculture. No cotton = nothing for factories to make. No tobacco = no big forex earnings. No food = nothing in the shops – and so on, and so on, it’s not difficult, Bob. And it’s not just ‘your’ regime any more in case you haven’t noticed.

The Lie
Mahoso: “It is as if there is a conspiracy not to mention the impact of the illegal and racist sanctions upon agriculture, when in fact the very reason why the Rhodies used the MDC formations to ask for British, US and EU sanctions was to stop the African land reclamation movement and destroy the land reform programme.”

The Reality
What rubbish. Mahoso sings his master’s song but it is hard to believe that he even knows the proper words in this convoluted, badly constructed sentence. The shopping sanctions are in place not to stop the land “reform” programme, but are targeted at a small group of elite Zanu-PF officials who “undermine democratic institutions and processes in Zimbabwe,” as quoted in the U.S. Treasury’s executive order on sanctions. How can shopping sanctions against about 300 people have a massive impact on agriculture? The only thing that’s ruined the agriculture sector is the ill-conceived and shockingly executed land grab programme. And seriously Daffy Taffy, don’t pull the racist card when you exhibit racism in the very same sentence (“Rhodies”. Ha!).

The Lie:
Mahoso again: “Above all, the media need to link the illegal sanctions to the difficulties the farmers are facing.”

The Reality
They’ll be searching for eternity for that link, because it doesn’t exist! Curb your enthusiasm, Taffy, you’re making a fool of yourself!

The Lie
More Mahoso: “Recent direct effects of the illegal sanctions on agriculture were seen in the withdrawal of Heinz Corporation from Olivine Industries and the campaign to stop Nestlé from buying milk from repossessed farms.”

The Reality
The sanctions (which are not illegal) had absolutely zippo to do with these two cases. Seriously, nothing, nada, zilch. Heinz sold its share in Olivine Industries as part of its global strategy, plus it sold it to a government-owned business, so I don’t know what you’re complaining about Taffy. This is what your party wants, isn’t it? And Nestlé stopped buying milk from repossessed (stolen) farms because it faced a worldwide consumer boycott if it didn’t. There are moral implications to buying from a farm that was violently seized, but we wouldn’t expect you to understand that.

The Lie
Mahoso: “Gono’s data and analysis leave him with no choice but to declare the illegal and racist sanctions a form of war and terrorism against the population of Zimbabwe.”

The Reality
We didn’t know Gono had the brainpower for data-collection and analysis? But I guess that explains his ridiculous conclusion. The only entity that has waged war and terrorism against the population of Zimbabwe is Zanu-PF, literally, and for decades. Oh – and there’s that racist card again…

This week in honour of Friday 13th, we wondered whether to rename the Lie-O-Meter. Perhaps it could be called the Mad-O-Meter due to the utterances of the state press which have become truly insane rather than just untrue.

In particular we quote the discredited Tafataona Mahoso (judged ‘unfit for office’ in 2008 and fired from his post as chairman of the Media and Information Commission). Taffy “Fathead’ Mahoso indulges his spleen in the state owned Sunday Mail each week, and although it is hard to read his booze-fuelled fantasies, they do reveal how very thin are the straws at which Zanu-PF clutches. Mahoso gets a record 10 out of 10 this week.

The Lie

Senator Roy Bennett is a former Selous Scout.

The Reality

Hmm, Pachedu Bennett has graduated from a soldier (last week) to a full fledged Selous Scout this week. Really, Taffy! Bennett was a police reservist (and then joined Zanu-PF after Independence).

The Lie

Zimbabwe was “scandalised” by the fact that Prime Minister Tsvangirai boycotted the burial of a ‘national hero’ at the weekend, and opted to play golf instead.

The Reality

Zimbabwe was not scandalised. The PM played golf on Saturday because he did not recognise Chando as a national hero. Tsvangirai has often pointed out that awarding national hero status is not the sole prerogative of Zanu-PF in the current ‘inclusive’ government. And who was this Chando anyway? MP Misheck Chando was a minor official known as Cde Makasha during the war of liberation, then served with 5 Brigade during the genocidal Gukurahundi campaign in Matabeleland and the Midlands. Tsvangirai would hardly agree to honour such a one.

The Lie

Mahoso again: “Tsvangirai takes the white supremacist declaration that Rhodesians never die (what?) to mean that Rhodesia must live so blatantly again through MDC-T”

The Reality

Mahoso has run out of legitimate ways to discredit the MDC, the party which is  bringing all the most welcome improvements to Zimbabwe. The Rhodesian regime was dismantled 30 years ago, never to return. Insulting the MDC like this just makes people laugh at the poor mad creature who tries to justify his salary by writing such garbage.

The Lie

(er, no, at this point it’s a – rant? rave? gibber? – whatever madmen do): “The President is a symbol; the Prime Minister is a symbol; National Heroes Acre is a symbol. A hero’s burial is a symbol; and so is the flag.” And that PM Tsvangirai does not know what a flag at half-mast means.

The Reality

You’re nuts, Mahoso.

The Lie

“…what saves the state from relying entirely on violence to maintain social and political integrity is the smooth forging, arranging and deployment of powerful symbols which transform raw energy, potential aggression and simmering conflicts into community rituals of solidarity and co-operation”.

The Reality

You wish! But what keeps Zanu-PF from the dustbin of political history is that they rely entirely on violence to maintain their grip on power. Does ‘Daffy Taffy’ really think that our rage, suffering and injustices can be transformed by a geriatric making a symbol out of a political gab-fest?

Ok that’s enough of Taffy Fathead Mahoso – you get the picture. The rest of his piece descends into serious weirdness as he accuses the PM of ‘inflicting wild ritual violence’ on the sacred symbols of statehood… offering Zimbabwean children a “white Rhodesian Selous Scout instead of an uncle”…… and other sickmaking drivel. Get back into your straitjacket, Taffy.

The Lie

Here’s a biggy from the country’s Attorney General: Johannes Tomana said that the state’s star witness, Mike Hitschmann, agreed to testify against Roy Bennett in the High Court trial that started on Monday.

The Reality: According to the country’s top defence lawyer, Beatrice Mtetwa, Hitschmann has no accusations to make, and has refused again and again to testify against Roy, as he has nothing to say, was cleared of his own charges, and was tortured into making statements in the first place. If he testifies it will be under extreme duress.

The Lie

The Herald newspaper claimed that PM Tsvangirai and his Secretary General (also Finance Minster) Tendai Biti are on a collision course. It claimed: “The (MDC-T) president does not recognise that there are sanctions on the country, but the secretary-general (Tendai Biti) is acknowledging that sanctions are there and they are causing unwarranted suffering to the people.”

The Reality

Minister Biti immediately rubbished this report, saying: “The Herald has an agenda to create artificial fissures in the people’s Movement in the hope that they can concoct another split in the MDC.” Right on. And do we care that Zanu-PF leaders just cannot bear the unwarranted suffering caused by the targeted sanctions that prevent them shopping at Harrods?